


The Cat's Ass

by MistyBeethoven



Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [11]
Category: Freaked! (1993)
Genre: Animal Transformation, BBW, Bad Taste, Catboys & Catgirls, Cats, Comedy, Dogboys & Doggirls, Dogs, Eyeballs, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Interspecies Awkwardness, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Love, Love Stories, Opposites Attract, Overweight, Roadshows, Romantic Comedy, Science Experiments, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, True Love, True Mates, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22268974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: When Elijah C. Skuggs kidnaps me, Ortiz comes to my rescue but it's too late...The villain has turned me into a Pussycat Girl.Will my Dog Boy still love me or will we end up fighting like cats and dogs? Especially when Skuggs sells tickets and wants us to do just that in front of his usual Freak Show crowd.
Relationships: Me & Elijah C. Skuggs, Ortiz the Dog Boy & Elijah C. Skuggs, Ortiz the Dog Boy/Me
Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589944
Kudos: 7





	The Cat's Ass

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. This is probably really bad but it appeals to my warped sense of humor.

I had been living with Ortiz in matrimonial bliss for months when I was walking down the sidewalk, bringing my loving husband a bag of his favorite Beggin' Strips when a van pulled up by my side. Vans are never encouraging, especially when one is black in color and the windows have all been tinted to a similar shade.

At that particular moment, some giant eyeballs popped out of the back of it and proceeded to grab me. I dropped the bag with the Beggin' Strips and watched as several of the contents of the bag fell out. As a few eggs rolled on down the street, I watched one crack and spill forth its yellow yokey heart onto the pavement. My own heart was similarly breaking just like that egg had when the eyeballs dragged me into the van and its dirty no good driver turned around revealing to me that he wasn't merely dirty and no good.

My kidnapper was none other than Elijah C. Skuggs, the man whom had turned my Ortiz into a puppy dog in the first place, along with a whole slew of other poor people whom had come across his carnival at some point of time in their misfortune. While most of the freaks had managed to resume their former normality due to macaroons, my sweet and brave Ortiz had not been able to get his paws on the antidote to do so. I didn't mind one way or the other. My love for the Dog Boy was not exclusive to whether he was human or not. Even if he shed a fair bit and I routinely needed to check my pubic hair for fleas following our intimate moments, I loved him with all my heart.

Elijah, it appeared, seemed to have been more lucky. He had reverted from his former freakish talk show host look to return to his former state: a blond, long haired Cousin Eddie lookalike. He was staring at me in the most gloating way imaginable as I struggled unsuccessfully with the eyeballs restraining me.

"So you're whom old Ortiz decided to shack up with...kind of big aren't you? I didn't know he liked them fat or I could have made just the lady for him."

I started to water up, never liking my weight being brought up in the first place. The eyeball holding my left side looked envious at the water flooding it; having no tear duct, himself, I could see, the monster must have suffered horribly from dry eye.

"Ortiz loves me for who I am," I sniffled. 

It was true. Maybe living as a freak so long he had come to see things for the beauty that lay underneath the skin not solely above it. 

Or maybe it was because he said I gave good belly rubs, made sure that his water dish was always clean and filled, didn't make him take too many baths and that I had purchased him a dog license right after I had found him and took him home.

Either way, Ortiz accepted me for me and we had set up a loving little home based not only on puppy love but the human sort as well.

"Well I'm intent on making him and his bunch of friends pay for crossing Elijah C. Skuggs," the villain announced. "Slowly one by one they will rue the day they made me look like I should be selling jeans! Ortiz the Dog Boy is at the top of my list. He found a home with you huh? Well let's see how much he gets along with a fat _cat_."

And with that ominous statement, he quickly drove away, leaving my eggs to fry on the hot city sidewalk.

* * *

I tried to fight the giant Rasta eyes as they dragged me into a barn of some sort at "Freek Land." Once I even managed to pull my arm free and sock the eyeball to my right straight in the iris. It got a hold of me again, however, and I suddenly felt bad, seeing that I had made him all bloodshot.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I'm pretty sure that there's a Visine for that."

"Take her in there and use lots of rope to tie her down! It looks like she'll need it," Elijah instructed. "I'll prepare the Testy Freeks Machine and the Zygrot!"

I didn't know what was bothering me more: that Skuggs was about to mutate me or that he kept on insulting me on top of it all.

* * *

Dogs are well known for coming to the rescue. If you were American once you were pretty well versed in how a certain Collie would repeatedly rescue a boy named Timmy, who would do things like fall in a well every week to amuse viewers. And if you were Canadian, like myself, you may be familiar with a certain German Sherherd called the Littlest Hobo who was constantly interrupted on his way back home by having to help random strangers.

It appeared that my Ortiz was cut from the same heroic breed as his canine predecessors. It wasn't very long before he was bursting into the barn to come to my rescue. I correctly assumed he had used his adorable black and wet nose to smell his way to me.

The only problem was that he was too late. I was huddled in the corner of the barn, weeping when my Rescue Dog Boy grabbed Elijah C. Skuggs and started to beat the living crap out of the Freak Show owner. Both falling to the ground, I watched as Ortiz bit down hard on the arm Skuggs was trying to use to protect himself.

"Where is my Erin you Capitalist swine?" Ortiz demanded.

Elijah looked up at his attacker and smiled viciously. "I heard you had a thing for big girl pussy so have yourself a look over there in the corner."

Ortiz glanced in my direction but the table Elijah C. Skuggs had used for the transformation was obscuring the view from where he was. I could see perfectly fine, however, even if I _didn't_ want to, as my furry lover punched out Skuggs, making him unconscious, before rising to come towards me and have a closer look.

"Erin?" he said softly, his nose twitching and telling him that it was his ever loving wife but warning him in advance about the change before he even he saw me.

Seeing no other choice, I rose to my feet in all of my new feline glory, still adorning my human clothes. I saw Ortiz take in my long calico fur, my green cat eyes and my pointed ears. My large, puffy tail was swishing back and forth in anxiety.

Before he could help himself, my Dog Boy started to growl at me and then bark.

Instinctively, I hissed back, taking a swat at him with my claws now out as my back arched, the fur rising up on it and my tail became even larger. 

We suddenly managed to bring ourselves back to our normal selves.

"Do you still love me?" I asked, grabbing my tail and smoothing it down.

I could see the love in Ortiz's eyes but there was an animal hunger there now too. Close to what I witnessed in the bedroom but also what I saw when I fed him his Milkbones also. "Just as much as always," he proclaimed. "I just do not know...I am torn between eating you up figuratively and literally."

I was both frightened by this statement and turned on.

The Dog Boy starting to growl at me again, I yowled and quickly ran past my rabid lover, heading straight to the barn door and outside. I wasn't very fast, however, and Ortiz caught me very soon after, throwing me on to the ground. We rolled around for a bit, the Dog Boy confused in his actions. He randomly bit, licked and kissed me in our struggle. I scratched his face and instantly regretted it, hoping I had not given my husband cat scratch fever.

Pinning me down in the dirt, Ortiz hovered over me in triumph. "Grrrr...I forgot the thrill of chasing cats!" he confessed dominantly. Being a cat lover, I usually dissuaded this type of behavior from him. However now that I was the cat, I guessed it was okay.

Feeling him on me I was still in a tug of war between terror and arousal, enjoying the way he was straddling my thighs and looking at me ravenously. I could tell he was conflicted as well. Usually what dogs did to cats they had caught was not a very nice picture.

Suddenly the Rasta eyeballs grabbed Ortiz off of me as they picked me up also and tied my hands behind my back.

Skuggs appeared, apparently having regained consciousness. He looked at us both with a self-satisfied smile on his face. "Now that made for a very interesting show...one that my usual clientele would pay to see: Watch as Dog Boy kills Cat Girl, right before their bloodthirsty eyes! Put them in separate pens while I print up the posters boys!"

Looking to my mate for protection, I saw him fighting the urge to growl at me again while he looked at me pleadingly. "Erin," he whispered before Skuggs' Rasta eyeballs took us away.

* * *

What the dastardly roadshow headmaster considered pens were essentially wooden coffins with small barred windows at the front. Mine lay next to Ortiz and we talked to each other throughout our mutual captivity. 

"What do we do _meow_?" I asked desperately, only to have Ortiz bark at me.

"Sorry," the canine human apologized. "I don't know what has come over me, Erin."

"It's all right," I comforted. "It's the natural inclination. I want you to know, though, whatever happens tomorrow I will forgive you."

He started to whimper and I wished I could let him rest his head on my thigh and scratch him behind his ear like he wanted me to do whenever he was upset. Usually this involved his favored contestant losing on the game shows he enjoyed watching, however; not that he was being set up to violently murder me in front of a bunch of gawking idiots.

"I love you, Ortiz," I told my tormented Dog Boy.

He started to howl loudly then; it was the type of sound you heard when wolves called out to their mates and I knew he was saying that he loved me too.

* * *

The next day, Elijah C. Skuggs freak show structure was filled to the brink with a crowd ready to see the carnage of the gleefully advertised attraction: 

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN," he called out. "ARE YOU PREPARED TO WITNESS THE MOST GROTESQUE AND AGE OLD RIVALRY: DOGS VS CATS...MAN VS WOMAN. HATRED BROILS UNDERNEATH IT...ANIMALISTIC HATRED...WHO WILL BE THE WINNER? LET'S WATCH AND FIND OUT." Adding quietly under his breath, "if your clothes get stained with blood, refunds won't be given..."

The Rasta eyeballs opened our wooden boxes and spilled us out into the large cage on the stage. We were both disoriented at the start before our new instincts kicked in. I tried to get away but my Ortiz was hot on my heels, snapping at them. As I leapt on the cage and wrapped my claws around the wire, I heard the crowd cheer when the Dog Boy grabbed me from behind and ripped me off of it. My claws retracted and Ortiz's paw tore my top in the process. Once more he had me on the floor, leaning over me on all fours, his fangs bared. Drool was falling from his mouth as he snarled and it fell between one of my pairs of breasts.

That was when Ortiz finally noticed I had three pairs in total. The crowd quieted in confusion as he split open the rest of my shirt exposing my six breasts. He looked suddenly very happy. "Enough for the pups! Err....kittens...oh, hell whatever!" he exclaimed overjoyed.

Still beaming he started to caress them sensuously and the crowd gasped in unison. A sound started to come from my throat as Ortiz continued his massaging, a rumbling noise which seemed to vibrate through me pleasantly.

"Why Erin," the Dog Boy asked haughtily as his hands still went to work on me, "Are you purring? Is Ortiz doing a good job my precious little pussy?"

I purred louder as I moaned out a happy "yes."

Ortiz shifted and I suddenly felt that he was as excited by the whole situation as much as I was. He proudly pulled out a chain that hung around his neck and was hidden in his communist soldier uniform and I saw the license I had bought for him gleaming among his dog tags. I took it in my hand and gently pulled him down by it, resting the license over my heart. The beads of the dog chain disappeared into my long furred cleavage and touched my skin, cold and making me shudder. Ortiz the Dog Boy lay his brown fuzzy head between this Erin the Cat Girl's top pair of breasts and I continued to purr in delight.

The attendees of this certain show then saw an attraction of another type; the kind that existed between two souls that loved each other enough to not let a little difference of species get in the way.

They weren't exactly ready to see a dog and cat make love instead of war, however; as Ortiz started to kiss me and I kissed him passionately in return, our fangs clinking together, the crowd began to riot.

"Ewwwww..." sang loud the chorus.

"That's unnatural!" one woman in a pair of Bermuda shorts and a tank top cried out.

A little boy ran out screaming, "Sick."

Insults after insults were hurled at us as Elijah C. Skugg's customers filed out of "Freek Land" demanding refunds as Ortiz and I continued to make love right there on the stage.

Even Elijah and his eyeball minions fled in repulsion, shouting out, "That's just _wrong_ and disgusting! You two exhibitionist freaks deserve each other! A dog and a cat screwing one another...well that's just a little too freakish for any decent person to stomach!"

We didn't care, too much enjoying what we were doing to pay attention to the insults of Montagues or Capulets.

When we had finished up we lay on the stage together, Ortiz holding me in his arms. "See," he said. "I should have known I could never hurt you, Erin. To me you are the cat's ass."

I purred again, cuddling up next to him until he asked to try that part out too and I more than happily let him.

**Author's Note:**

> Next entry will be called "The Dog's Bollocks."
> 
> I am being serious about that too.
> 
> Just watch in a few days and you'll see.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Valentine for Keanu](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29453613) by [MistyBeethoven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven)




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